“A HEALTHY OUTLOOK ON YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE”

  By Dick Armour 

 

1. CREATE A SAFE HARBOR AT HOME

  

  • Make home a place to be

  • Establish, expand and protect family time

  • Build family ground rules before they are needed

  • Prepare for what might be, before it becomes a problem

 

2. CHECK THE MIRROR 

  

  • Look in the mirror to see if you are the role model you want for your child

  • “Functional adults are not necessarily functional parents” – Often success and personal career is at the expense of the family (children are 3rd on the list)

  • A parent can be instrumental in providing suggestions, guidance and helping their child develop a balance in life.

 

3. TAKE CHARGE OF THE TV

  

  • TV is a passive pastime and a form of addiction

  • Their physiological response to TV is similar to the human response (sedative/hypnotic drugs)

 

4. ASK FOR HELP

  

  • You need a license to drive a car and even to catch a fish

  • Functional parents produce functional children

  • Dysfunctional parents are almost never held accountable for producing dysfunctional children

  • If you do not know what to do, do not be afraid to ask for help

  • It is simple to say to another parent “Can you help me with this? What do you do when? Do you know anyone who can help me with this?"

  • Asking for help does not mean you’re a failure as a parent, but a parent who cares enough to ask

  • Seek out your child’s teachers, coaches and mentors. More connection between parents and school = more information about your child

 

5. ENGAGE YOUR CHILD

  

  • Negative influences get appealing when that is all that is surrounding your child. (Fear, doubts and insecurities) “Misery likes company”

  • Quality time is essential and should be a daily ritual. Communication strengthens the family bond and also helps to prevent negative outside influences

  • National statistics state that the average family in the United States today spends approximately 57 minutes a day together as a family

  • Capitalize on ‘teachable’ moments; avoid relying on the convenient ‘preachable’ moment

  • Listen to learn

 

6. BUILD A VILLAGE 

  

  • There was a time when families lived in tight neighborhoods; they had a village to raise a child. Your child will benefit from a community that watches over them on your behalf (values)

  • Remember ‘the little birdie?” Remember when you were a kid and did something wrong and you asked your parent how they found out? The answer was always “a little birdie told me"

 

7. SEPARATE FACTS, VALUES AND EMOTIONS

  

  • Present facts that are proven

  • Present your values based on your experience and earned knowledge

  • Maintain your objectivity by dealing with your emotions before you confront your child

  • Advocate your child’s teacher. The child must not manipulate connections between parent and teacher

  • Teachers and parents must be partners (facts, values, emotions)

  • The next closest person to your child on a daily basis is your child’s teacher (surrogate parent)

 

8. PRO-ACT INSTEAD OF RE-ACT

  

  • An ounce of prevention. . . . !! It is too late to put up the lightening rods, if the storm is raging outside

  • As the child grows he/she changes and so will the need for new skills

  • Stay ahead of the game. Develop your parenting skills before each new challenge

  • Use the “P” phrase

  • Parenting prevents poor pupil performance

 

9. DISCIPLINE WITH DIGNITY

  

  • When disciplining your child, explain the reason why, without attacks to their self-esteem and self worth

  • Example: “I love you very much, but what you did was wrong. . .”

  • Create accountability (no TV for a week); Don’t waver or be inconsistent

  • Most important – always ask "Do you understand?”

  • Cost and consequences

 

10. HELP THEM FIND A PURPOSE

  

  • Give your child a compass

  • Connect your child with a purpose, with roads and pathways to success (they won’t find this at the mall)

  • Give your child a purpose and the tools and you won’t have to worry about D/A, crime and negative behaviors

  • Physical world vs. material world equals every parent’s biggest nightmare – “You don’t buy love”

  • If you as parents create positive ground rules at an early age and teach your child that he/she has a purpose in life, this will become a natural way of thinking.

 

“CHILDREN ARE OUR GREATEST RESOURCE”