A Comprehensive Wellness Education Initiative for Schools, Parents and the Community
Teen Substance Abuse Prevention Education. We need your help to keep us going...
“A HEALTHY OUTLOOK ON YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE”
By Dick Armour
1. CREATE A SAFE HARBOR AT HOME
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Make home a place to be
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Establish, expand and protect family time
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Build family ground rules before they are needed
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Prepare for what might be, before it becomes a problem
2. CHECK THE MIRROR
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Look in the mirror to see if you are the role model you want for your child
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“Functional adults are not necessarily functional parents” – Often success and personal career is at the expense of the family (children are 3rd on the list)
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A parent can be instrumental in providing suggestions, guidance and helping their child develop a balance in life.
3. TAKE CHARGE OF THE TV
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TV is a passive pastime and a form of addiction
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Their physiological response to TV is similar to the human response (sedative/hypnotic drugs)
4. ASK FOR HELP
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You need a license to drive a car and even to catch a fish
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Functional parents produce functional children
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Dysfunctional parents are almost never held accountable for producing dysfunctional children
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If you do not know what to do, do not be afraid to ask for help
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It is simple to say to another parent “Can you help me with this? What do you do when? Do you know anyone who can help me with this?"
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Asking for help does not mean you’re a failure as a parent, but a parent who cares enough to ask
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Seek out your child’s teachers, coaches and mentors. More connection between parents and school = more information about your child
5. ENGAGE YOUR CHILD
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Negative influences get appealing when that is all that is surrounding your child. (Fear, doubts and insecurities) “Misery likes company”
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Quality time is essential and should be a daily ritual. Communication strengthens the family bond and also helps to prevent negative outside influences
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National statistics state that the average family in the United States today spends approximately 57 minutes a day together as a family
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Capitalize on ‘teachable’ moments; avoid relying on the convenient ‘preachable’ moment
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Listen to learn
6. BUILD A VILLAGE
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There was a time when families lived in tight neighborhoods; they had a village to raise a child. Your child will benefit from a community that watches over them on your behalf (values)
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Remember ‘the little birdie?” Remember when you were a kid and did something wrong and you asked your parent how they found out? The answer was always “a little birdie told me"
7. SEPARATE FACTS, VALUES AND EMOTIONS
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Present facts that are proven
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Present your values based on your experience and earned knowledge
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Maintain your objectivity by dealing with your emotions before you confront your child
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Advocate your child’s teacher. The child must not manipulate connections between parent and teacher
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Teachers and parents must be partners (facts, values, emotions)
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The next closest person to your child on a daily basis is your child’s teacher (surrogate parent)
8. PRO-ACT INSTEAD OF RE-ACT
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An ounce of prevention. . . . !! It is too late to put up the lightening rods, if the storm is raging outside
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As the child grows he/she changes and so will the need for new skills
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Stay ahead of the game. Develop your parenting skills before each new challenge
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Use the “P” phrase
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Parenting prevents poor pupil performance
9. DISCIPLINE WITH DIGNITY
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When disciplining your child, explain the reason why, without attacks to their self-esteem and self worth
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Example: “I love you very much, but what you did was wrong. . .”
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Create accountability (no TV for a week); Don’t waver or be inconsistent
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Most important – always ask "Do you understand?”
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Cost and consequences
10. HELP THEM FIND A PURPOSE
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Give your child a compass
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Connect your child with a purpose, with roads and pathways to success (they won’t find this at the mall)
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Give your child a purpose and the tools and you won’t have to worry about D/A, crime and negative behaviors
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Physical world vs. material world equals every parent’s biggest nightmare – “You don’t buy love”
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If you as parents create positive ground rules at an early age and teach your child that he/she has a purpose in life, this will become a natural way of thinking.
“CHILDREN ARE OUR GREATEST RESOURCE”