“A HEALTHY OUTLOOK ON YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE”
By Dick Armour
1. CREATE A SAFE HARBOR AT HOME
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Make home a place to be
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Establish, expand and protect family time
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Build family ground rules before they are needed
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Prepare for what might be, before it becomes a problem
2. CHECK THE MIRROR
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Look in the mirror to see if you are the role model you want for your child
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“Functional adults are not necessarily functional parents” – Often success and personal career is at the expense of the family (children are 3rd on the list)
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A parent can be instrumental in providing suggestions, guidance and helping their child develop a balance in life.
3. TAKE CHARGE OF THE TV
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TV is a passive pastime and a form of addiction
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Their physiological response to TV is similar to the human response (sedative/hypnotic drugs)
4. ASK FOR HELP
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You need a license to drive a car and even to catch a fish
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Functional parents produce functional children
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Dysfunctional parents are almost never held accountable for producing dysfunctional children
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If you do not know what to do, do not be afraid to ask for help
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It is simple to say to another parent “Can you help me with this? What do you do when? Do you know anyone who can help me with this?"
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Asking for help does not mean you’re a failure as a parent, but a parent who cares enough to ask
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Seek out your child’s teachers, coaches and mentors. More connection between parents and school = more information about your child
5. ENGAGE YOUR CHILD
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Negative influences get appealing when that is all that is surrounding your child. (Fear, doubts and insecurities) “Misery likes company”
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Quality time is essential and should be a daily ritual. Communication strengthens the family bond and also helps to prevent negative outside influences
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National statistics state that the average family in the United States today spends approximately 57 minutes a day together as a family
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Capitalize on ‘teachable’ moments; avoid relying on the convenient ‘preachable’ moment
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Listen to learn
6. BUILD A VILLAGE
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There was a time when families lived in tight neighborhoods; they had a village to raise a child. Your child will benefit from a community that watches over them on your behalf (values)
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Remember ‘the little birdie?” Remember when you were a kid and did something wrong and you asked your parent how they found out? The answer was always “a little birdie told me"
7. SEPARATE FACTS, VALUES AND EMOTIONS
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Present facts that are proven
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Present your values based on your experience and earned knowledge
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Maintain your objectivity by dealing with your emotions before you confront your child
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Advocate your child’s teacher. The child must not manipulate connections between parent and teacher
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Teachers and parents must be partners (facts, values, emotions)
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The next closest person to your child on a daily basis is your child’s teacher (surrogate parent)
8. PRO-ACT INSTEAD OF RE-ACT
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An ounce of prevention. . . . !! It is too late to put up the lightening rods, if the storm is raging outside
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As the child grows he/she changes and so will the need for new skills
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Stay ahead of the game. Develop your parenting skills before each new challenge
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Use the “P” phrase
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Parenting prevents poor pupil performance
9. DISCIPLINE WITH DIGNITY
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When disciplining your child, explain the reason why, without attacks to their self-esteem and self worth
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Example: “I love you very much, but what you did was wrong. . .”
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Create accountability (no TV for a week); Don’t waver or be inconsistent
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Most important – always ask "Do you understand?”
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Cost and consequences
10. HELP THEM FIND A PURPOSE
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Give your child a compass
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Connect your child with a purpose, with roads and pathways to success (they won’t find this at the mall)
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Give your child a purpose and the tools and you won’t have to worry about D/A, crime and negative behaviors
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Physical world vs. material world equals every parent’s biggest nightmare – “You don’t buy love”
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If you as parents create positive ground rules at an early age and teach your child that he/she has a purpose in life, this will become a natural way of thinking.
“CHILDREN ARE OUR GREATEST RESOURCE”