“A HEALTHY OUTLOOK ON YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE”

  By Dick Armour 

 

1. CREATE A SAFE HARBOR AT HOME

  

• Make home a place to be

• Establish, expand and protect family time

• Build family ground rules before they are needed

• Prepare for what might be, before it becomes a problem

 

2. CHECK THE MIRROR 

  

• Look in the mirror to see if you are the role model you want for your child

• “Functional adults are not necessarily functional parents” – Often success and personal career is at the expense of the family (children are 3rd on the list)

• A parent can be instrumental in providing suggestions, guidance and helping their child develop a balance in life.

 

3. TAKE CHARGE OF THE TV

  

• TV is a passive pastime and a form of addiction

• Their physiological response to TV is similar to the human response (sedative/hypnotic drugs)

 

4. ASK FOR HELP

  

• You need a license to drive a car and even to catch a fish

• Functional parents produce functional children

• Dysfunctional parents are almost never held accountable for producing dysfunctional children

• If you do not know what to do, do not be afraid to ask for help

• It is simple to say to another parent “Can you help me with this? What do you do when? Do you know anyone who can help me with this?"

• Asking for help does not mean you’re a failure as a parent, but a parent who cares enough to ask

• Seek out your child’s teachers, coaches and mentors. More connection between parents and school = more information about your child

 

5. ENGAGE YOUR CHILD

  

• Negative influences get appealing when that is all that is surrounding your child. (Fear, doubts and insecurities) “Misery likes company”

• Quality time is essential and should be a daily ritual. Communication strengthens the family bond and also helps to prevent negative outside influences

• National statistics state that the average family in the United States today spends approximately 57 minutes a day together as a family

• Capitalize on ‘teachable’ moments; avoid relying on the convenient ‘preachable’ moment

• Listen to learn

 

6. BUILD A VILLAGE 

  

• There was a time when families lived in tight neighborhoods; they had a village to raise a child. Your child will benefit from a community that watches over them on your behalf (values)

• Remember ‘the little birdie?” Remember when you were a kid and did something wrong and you asked your parent how they found out? The answer was always “a little birdie told me"

 

7. SEPARATE FACTS, VALUES AND EMOTIONS

  

• Present facts that are proven

• Present your values based on your experience and earned knowledge

• Maintain your objectivity by dealing with your emotions before you confront your child

• Advocate your child’s teacher. The child must not manipulate connections between parent and teacher

• Teachers and parents must be partners (facts, values, emotions)

• The next closest person to your child on a daily basis is your child’s teacher (surrogate parent)

 

8. PRO-ACT INSTEAD OF RE-ACT

  

• An ounce of prevention. . . . !! It is too late to put up the lightening rods, if the storm is raging outside

• As the child grows he/she changes and so will the need for new skills

• Stay ahead of the game. Develop your parenting skills before each new challenge

• Use the “P” phrase

• Parenting prevents poor pupil performance

 

9. DISCIPLINE WITH DIGNITY

  

• When disciplining your child, explain the reason why, without attacks to their self-esteem and self worth

• Example: “I love you very much, but what you did was wrong. . .”

• Create accountability (no TV for a week); Don’t waver or be inconsistent

• Most important – always ask "Do you understand?”

• Cost and consequences

 

10. HELP THEM FIND A PURPOSE

  

• Give your child a compass

• Connect your child with a purpose, with roads and pathways to success (they won’t find this at the mall)

• Give your child a purpose and the tools and you won’t have to worry about D/A, crime and negative behaviors

• Physical world vs. material world equals every parent’s biggest nightmare – “You don’t buy love”

• If you as parents create positive ground rules at an early age and teach your child that he/she has a purpose in life, this will become a natural way of thinking.

 

“CHILDREN ARE OUR GREATEST RESOURCE”