10 Step | nbwprograms

“A HEALTHY OUTLOOK ON YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE”

By Dick Armour

1. CREATE A SAFE HARBOR AT HOME

2. CHECK THE MIRROR

Look in the mirror to see if you are the role model you want for your child
“Functional adults are not necessarily functional parents” – Often success and personal career is at the expense of the family (children are 3rd on the list)
A parent can be instrumental in providing suggestions, guidance and helping their child develop a balance in life.

3. TAKE CHARGE OF THE TV

TV is a passive pastime and a form of addiction
Their physiological response to TV is similar to the human response (sedative/hypnotic drugs)

4. ASK FOR HELP

You need a license to drive a car and even to catch a fish
Functional parents produce functional children
Dysfunctional parents are almost never held accountable for producing dysfunctional children
If you do not know what to do, do not be afraid to ask for help
It is simple to say to another parent “Can you help me with this? What do you do when? Do you know anyone who can help me with this?"
Asking for help does not mean you’re a failure as a parent, but a parent who cares enough to ask
Seek out your child’s teachers, coaches and mentors. More connection between parents and school = more information about your child

5. ENGAGE YOUR CHILD

Negative influences get appealing when that is all that is surrounding your child. (Fear, doubts and insecurities) “Misery likes company”
Quality time is essential and should be a daily ritual. Communication strengthens the family bond and also helps to prevent negative outside influences
National statistics state that the average family in the United States today spends approximately 57 minutes a day together as a family
Capitalize on ‘teachable’ moments; avoid relying on the convenient ‘preachable’ moment
Listen to learn

6. BUILD A VILLAGE

There was a time when families lived in tight neighborhoods; they had a village to raise a child. Your child will benefit from a community that watches over them on your behalf (values)
Remember ‘the little birdie?” Remember when you were a kid and did something wrong and you asked your parent how they found out? The answer was always “a little birdie told me"

7. SEPARATE FACTS, VALUES AND EMOTIONS

Present facts that are proven
Present your values based on your experience and earned knowledge
Maintain your objectivity by dealing with your emotions before you confront your child
Advocate your child’s teacher. The child must not manipulate connections between parent and teacher
Teachers and parents must be partners (facts, values, emotions)
The next closest person to your child on a daily basis is your child’s teacher (surrogate parent)

8. PRO-ACT INSTEAD OF RE-ACT

An ounce of prevention. . . . !! It is too late to put up the lightening rods, if the storm is raging outside
As the child grows he/she changes and so will the need for new skills
Stay ahead of the game. Develop your parenting skills before each new challenge
Use the “P” phrase
Parenting prevents poor pupil performance

9. DISCIPLINE WITH DIGNITY

When disciplining your child, explain the reason why, without attacks to their self-esteem and self worth
Example: “I love you very much, but what you did was wrong. . .”
Create accountability (no TV for a week); Don’t waver or be inconsistent
Most important – always ask "Do you understand?”
Cost and consequences

10. HELP THEM FIND A PURPOSE

Give your child a compass
Connect your child with a purpose, with roads and pathways to success (they won’t find this at the mall)
Give your child a purpose and the tools and you won’t have to worry about D/A, crime and negative behaviors
Physical world vs. material world equals every parent’s biggest nightmare – “You don’t buy love”
If you as parents create positive ground rules at an early age and teach your child that he/she has a purpose in life, this will become a natural way of thinking.

“CHILDREN ARE OUR GREATEST RESOURCE”

P.O. Box 3581, Framingham, MA 01701